Why?

So many things have happened recently and I have tried not to ask why, but to just accept. This time though - I can't help it. My dear friends have lost their 13 month old. He was sick from the get go, but why? He never was able to leave the hospital. That was home to him. I'm heartbroken for them. Baby Jack is now in heaven, but how do parents make it through something like this? I honestly don't know how I would handle it. It's not fair. Why couldn't he be healthy? They have a healthy little girl. Why Jack? Why didn't God provide a miracle? I was expecting it. Praying for it. Hoping for it. He didn't do it. Maybe Jack needed to stop suffering. I'm really not sure, but it just doesn't seem right. How can there be parents out there that continue to have children and don't love or care for them, even abuse them? How can there be women who have abortions, but the loving people who want children and would be amazing parents just can't seem to have them. What is going on? I'm so frustrated! Why God? Why?

Move, Moving, Moved

Finally! We have finally finished moving out of our old worn out house.

It had an awesome back yard that we rarely used.
We had a lot of struggles in that house.
There were many things that were not conducive to raising a child.
It is the 1st place Cooper ever lived.
It is the last place Porter ever lived.
I'm glad to be out of that house.

We now live in an apartment. Despite the noise we hear every time the neighbors above us open their sliding glass door, it is so far a much better fit for our little family.

The office manager is wonderful. Her name is Gloria. She reminds me a lot of my Tia Cas.

There is a little park a block away. Cooper and I have already been there for a longer period of time than we ever spent in our backyard at the old house.

So far, everything is great. We have to make some small purchases in order to make the apartment fit us perfectly. We're almost there though. Just awaiting the pantry I ordered online. As soon as that gets here, we should be done unpacking. =)

I like moving because I learn new things, new places, and meet new people. I hate moving because of the packing and unpacking. Next time, we're hiring movers.

Kenmore is not really easy to get to, but there are a lot of things to look at along the way. And, if you get bored taking one route, there seem to be an infinite number of ways to get there.

There is a swimming pool in our complex. I can't wait to go swimming. The pool opens on the 28th. I can't wait! Cooper loves swimming. I love swimming. It will be a great way to keep him entertained and hopefully get a tan while I'm at it. I haven't had a real tan since I was a little girl. Excited for the possibilities.

I'm glad to be in our new place. Come visit if you get a chance. I love visitors. You can come swimming with Cooper and I.

Hope to see you soon!

~Amy

I love small towns...

I'm sitting here in my living room about to watch a movie. I have the front door and the windows open as it is an absolutely gorgeous day out.

I heard a car honk. This happens often on our little street as we are close to a school and a back way around a busy street. This time though, that simple honk struck me differently than it normally does. Perhaps because of the doors being open and it feeling like summer, perhaps not. I'm not really sure.

This particular honk made me jump to the window to see who it was. I don't think I've done that in years. This was a regular occurrence growing up in a small town. When someone honked on your street it typically meant that a friend was driving by and the honk was to say hello.

I miss that.

Surgery...I hope

For the longest time I've been contemplating breast reduction surgery. This past weekend I found out that my cousin's wife is scheduled to have the surgery on the 19th. I couldn't believe it. I'm so much bigger busted than her. It zapped me into high gear. I called my insurance and found that they actually cover the surgery as long as it is medically necessary and not just for cosmetic purposes. Next step - I scheduled an appointment with my doctor to see what she thought.

I had the appointment on Tuesday. She said that I am a very good candidate for the surgery, but...there are a couple of things she wants me to do first.

1. Physical therapy to heal the pain in my neck and back.
2. Lose weight.
3. Be done having children.

My thoughts on these 3 things.
1 - easy. I have my first appointment scheduled on the 23rd.
2 - hard. I'm visibly horrible at losing weight. I know in my head that I need to do it. I want to do it. There are so many benefits from losing the weight. It's such a struggle for me. It's always been a struggle for me. The only time it wasn't was when I was 22 - 24 years old and that was only because my job was the opposite of sedentary. I was on my feet 12 - 16 hours a day and so busy that I simply forgot about food. I wish I could be that busy again. Not on my feet the whole time, but busy. The irony is that I was working in food service during this time. Go figure.
3 - I understand the reasoning for this one. I mean my chest grew 3 cup sizes from being pregnant with Cooper. I better be able to lose some of that from the weight loss or I'm going to be seriously hurting with kid #2. Craig and I had been talking about when we want to start trying for #2 and we decided(prior to this doctor's visit) that we would start trying again in July. Provided Craig has a job again.

I know I was expecting a miracle when I walked in there. I was hoping the doctor would say something along the lines of "We can get you in next week." I know that this is something that will happen someday. I'm really hoping that in about a year and a half I will be having this surgery. In the mean time, I've really got to buckle down and get serious about getting in shape.

If you think about it, pray for me and my task ahead. I'll try to keep you posted on my progress and any future visits with the doctor.

Love to all!

~Amy

Scope

Yesterday I went to the Doctor's office to have an Upper Endoscopy procedure. I was a bit scared. Craig dropped me off. Roughly 30 minutes later I met the doctor. She explained everything that would happen and what she was looking for. Basically, she was going to stick a camera down my throat to see what was going on inside of my esophagus. I had been slightly anemic according to some previous test results and my doctor was worried that I was bleeding internally. They drugged me up and about 30 minutes after that they were waking me up and sending me home with Craig.Craig took me home and I slept from noon until 4:30pm. It was a great nap! The Doctor did tell Craig that she didn't see anything abnormal, but she did take a biopsy to test just in case. I should get the results from that in the mail in a few days. She doesn't expect to find anything wrong though. Thank goodness for the miracles they have in modern medicine. Still not sure why I was anemic though. Oh, well, at least I'm not bleeding internally.

Just thought I'd give you all an update. Sorry if it's TMI.

Love,
~Amy

Are You Playing the Game of Life?

Two days ago I had the most bizarre conversation with the manager of my local Rite Aid. It was so funny that I just had to share.

Craig and I were at the Factoria Mall. We went into Rite Aide so I could pick up something I needed at home. As I got in line, Craig went to get the car so Cooper and I wouldn't have to walk through the rain. That's when things got weird.

Manager - "I can help someone at the Photo counter."

I was second in line, so I moved over to be assisted by the manager. I only had one item, I figured it would be quick.

So, I walk up to the counter and place my item on it...

Manager - "Are you playing the game of Life like you know you should?"

My thoughts - What!?! Oh, maybe he is talking about the scratch ticket Lucky for Life, I'm not sure, uhh...

Me - "Uhh, no. I am playing the real game of life though. So far I've rolled and gotten married and had a kid."

Manager - "Oh, you're doing it right. I wish I could have kids. I have to get married first and I can't find a wife."

Me - "You'll find one."

Manager - "My roommate says I lost the toss for the good looks pool."

Me - "That's horrible!"

Manager - "Horrible, but true."

By this time we were finished ringing up my one item and I had started to head out of the store with Cooper.

Me - "Uhh, bye. Have a good night."

I walked out of there as fast as I could. It was such a bizarre encounter. I told Craig the story right away. I've been chuckling about it ever since. I do feel sorry for that poor man. He was not hideous by any means, but he wasn't super attractive either. Poor guy just needed a hair cut and a roommate that doesn't pick on him.

~Amy

Sewing Bug

I think I have officially caught the sewing bug that my sister and mother have been on for quite some time. It all started at Christmas...I decided to buy a sewing machine for my niece, Camryn. I went to the fabric store to buy her an additional gift of some fabric so she would have something to sew when she opened her gift. I realized I can spend hours in a fabric store just looking at all the beautiful fabrics.

Since that trip I have had a yen to make something. My typical project is a blanket. The problem with this is I need another blanket like I need another hole in my head (Craig has even talked about getting rid of some! Sacrilegious I know, but nevertheless, we don't have space for more blankets at the moment). The problem now became, "What do I make?" I'm not a very skilled seamstress, blankets are rectangles. Straight lines are easy to sew. Could I really make something a little more challenging? Umm, maybe, but I decided to start light.

Two days ago, inspiration struck by way of my good friend Molly's blog. She mentioned that her burp cloths were in dire straights and with baby Liam coming soon it was one of her needs. I thought that would be a perfect starting place. Mandy had made me quite a few burp cloths when I was expecting Cooper and I treasured them. They were unique and easily identifiable when visiting with other moms and their babies.

It was settled. I couldn't get the thought out of my head, so I headed to the fabric store yesterday afternoon. There were so many fabrics to choose from so I limited myself to three. I ran some other errands and came home. Around 9pm I decided that I had to make them that night. I'm not a patient person when I get an idea in my head. =) I stayed up until 2am making those burp cloths! I never stay up past 10pm. I never have the energy. I had the energy last night. I was so excited about making those burp cloths that I wasn't even tired. It wouldn't have taken as long as it did, but Cooper did not want to leave me alone while I was sewing. I finally put him to bed and got serious, until around 1am when he woke up again. Also, my sewing machine decided after two completed burp cloths that it didn't want to work properly. I was in a panic because I was OCD about finishing them so I could get them to Molly today at church. Somehow I messed with the settings of the machine and after 30 minutes I got it to work properly. Phew!

I'm pretty pleased with the results. Now I'm scouring the internet for my next sewing project. I love babies so I'm pretty sure it will be something for a baby, just not sure what though. Hopefully whatever it is will turn out as fun to make as those burp cloths.

Love you!

~Amy